It doesn’t matter if you are a regular 9–5 worker or CEO of a major company, you have something in common with everybody else: the voice in your head that gets you to doubt yourself.

Gabe Howard, a mental health speaker and writer, recently talked about how in coaching Fortune 500 executives, every single one of them struggled with a fear of failure and messages to themselves of self-doubt. The common denominator with all of these people who make more in their first few hours of work in a new year than the average person makes all year is negative self-talk.

So the question that naturally comes up is, “If multi-millionaires talk bad to themselves, how can I possibly change my negative self-talk?”

Before we answer that question today, know that having a brain that is always doubting is normal. Our brains are wired for doubt and worry. Questioning things around you helps you be aware of your environment. But one downside is that you may be perceiving a threat when it’s not there. It keeps us safe.

Imagine this:

When Jason was in fourth grade, his teacher asked him to read a paragraph out loud to the class. He stumbled over a few words. A couple of kids snickered, and one kid loudly said, “Wow… do you even know how to read?”

The class laughed.

For a nine-year-old, that moment felt huge. His face turned red, his heart raced, and he wished he could disappear. His brain quietly stored away a lesson: speaking up can lead to embarrassment.

Fast forward twenty-five years.

Jason is now a successful engineer. He’s smart, respected, and great at his job. But in meetings, something strange happens. When he has an idea, he hesitates. His mind suddenly fills with thoughts like:

What if this sounds stupid?

What if people think I don’t know what I’m talking about?

Even though he’s accomplished and capable, that old emotional memory still whispers the same warning his brain learned as a kid: don’t risk looking foolish.

Nothing about the meeting is actually dangerous—but the brain sometimes treats old embarrassment like a threat that could happen again.

That’s how a small childhood moment can quietly shape adult fears, even for people who are confident and successful in many other areas.

When you notice self-doubt coming up and you are saying things to yourself like, “I’m going to look foolish” or “You are going to mess up again,” ask yourself: “Is that voice being a jerk or is it being helpful?”

When you recognize that the voice is being a jerk, tell it what you are going to do anyway.

For example, you have a presentation at work. In your mind you know the stuff, you have the data, and even have a great PowerPoint, but you are afraid of stumbling over your words. You hear that voice tell you, “You are going to look nervous, be nervous, and you’ll stumble over your words.” When you hear that voice (which is obviously being a jerk), simply tell yourself, “Well, that may be, but I’m going to do the presentation anyway.” Or “I’m getting paid to do this presentation, and that presentation is going to put me that much closer to payday.”

Using the presentation example again, you may have been afraid of stumbling over your words, but if you completed the presentation (stumbling or no stumbling), that’s a victory. Don’t diminish or devalue that victory—you did it. You didn’t run away, you didn’t call in sick and hide—you did it. That’s a victory. One step, any step, is a victory.

Here’s the not-so-good news. This is not a quick fix. It takes practice.

The first time you do this it may seem like psychobabble. The second time you do it you may notice that the rumble in your stomach as you face the fear is a 7 out of 10 instead of a 10 out of 10. It may even take you until you get to the 30th or 50th time before you walk into a presentation and say, “I got this.”

And one day something interesting happens.

You walk into a situation that used to make your stomach turn, and the voice in your head gets a little quieter. Not because it disappeared, but because you’ve learned something important: that voice doesn’t get to decide what you do.

You do.

Confidence rarely arrives all at once. It grows step by step, moment by moment, each time you choose to move forward anyway.

And every time you do, you stress less and you prove something powerful to yourself:

One step is victory.