Unless you have been living under a rock, you’ve been hearing some psychological buzzwords almost anywhere and everywhere.

You’ve heard the term gaslighting, which is a specific form of manipulation where someone makes you question your reality—now often used for any form of disagreement.

And you’ve heard the term narcissist, which is a full-fledged personality disorder but widely (over)used to describe anyone who’s selfish or annoying.  As a mental health professional, I personally am tired of hearing that term and will even challenge the user to provide documentation that the person they are talking about has been officially diagnosed with narcissism. 

But one buzzword that you probably hear a lot and is not overused is boundaries.

You may even have rolled your eyes and said—”Great, another thing I’m apparently supposed to master before breakfast.” But the more you pay attention, the more you will realize something: this one actually matters.

Because here’s the truth most of us don’t say out loud—when we let people interrupt our time, drain our energy, or invade our mental space, we end up exhausted.

Everything suddenly feels urgent.
Everything other people deem to be important seems important to you
Everything feels like our responsibility. 

And before we know it, we’re running on an empty tank wondering why we’re so overwhelmed.

That’s where boundaries come in. Not walls, not ultimatums—just honest signals about what we can handle and what we can’t.

The term boundaries can be misused. Really it’s about healthy limits, but the misuse comes in when people slap the term on everything from canceling plans to not texting back or even hiding behind the term to avoid necessary conversations.

But boundaries really are about protecting yourself from being overcommitted and overfilling your plate. Sometimes that means saying the simplest, hardest word in the world: “No.” Not because we don’t care, but because we’re already carrying more than enough.

So the natural question is “How do I keep healthy boundaries?”  Below are 8 questions you can ask yourself to use as a guide.

1. Do I feel uncomfortable or stressed when this person asks me for something?
Your body often knows before your brain does.

2. Am I saying “yes” even though I really want to say “no”?
If you feel pressured or guilty, that’s a sign.

3. Do I feel tired or drained after spending time with this person?
Healthy relationships usually leave you feeling okay, not exhausted.

4. Do I feel like I can’t speak up or share how I really feel?
If you’re scared to be honest, something might be off.

5. Do I feel responsible for keeping this person happy all the time?
It’s not your job to manage someone else’s emotions.

6. Does this person ignore or make fun of my limits?
If someone laughs at your “no,” it’s a red flag.

7. Do I feel like I’m always giving, but not getting much back?
Boundaries help keep relationships balanced.

8. Am I putting aside my own needs just to keep the peace?
If you constantly sacrifice your time or energy, your boundaries might be slipping.

Some estimates put COVID-era stress at 41% globally. That means that almost half of every person on Earth, were not just managing but were actively stressed to the point of being overwhelmed.

Helpful Resource

The book “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud & John Townsend has thousands of positive reviews on Amazon. For people who are “doers” and not just readers there is an accompanying workbook as well.

Please note the link above is an affiliate link and if you purchase the book, I may earn a few pennies. My recommendation is not based on purely monetary factors and I only recommend products and services that I find helpful.

How have you dealt with saving your mental and personal space? Share your story—I love learning from you. If this resonated with you, tell me how, join the conversation below—your perspective might be exactly what someone else needs to hear.